like an old, mischievous elf
Sit 3 statues, bronze, silver, and Gold...
They are canaries, And I am bold.
I shall give the Bird to three,
for December, and year-end, you see.
It doesn't matter if you're not a turd,
I could STILL give you the BIRD!
Forgive me if I don't give you a New Year's Greeting.
I don't see happiness on the horizon for anyone, and it makes me a hypocrite if I wish someone something I don't foresee.
December is over, as is one of my worst years. Coupled with Job loss, disability, medical problems, insurance problems, and foreclosure, a new year of trouble is just what's needed. So, to get it off my chest, so to speak, I will award the BIRD to 3 troublemakers for December, Plus a SPECIAL 3 for the year of 2009. But I'll temper the bad with some thank yous to the people who made 2009 a little more bearable.
The Bronze Canary (And it's no surprise) goes to Household Bank -- for annoying letters, stupidity, and threats. We have our solution ready, folks. But YOU ain't gonna like it. YOU are a bunch of A-holes who don't deserve to live, but we have no right to kill you.
The Silver Canary -- might shock you. It goes to the Local Police. I realize you're just doing your job, but sitting in our driveway for 2 hours plus is ridiculous. If I had had enough money, I would have called someone to put a boot on the car and have it towed. Harassment is not permitted by law, but harassment is part of your "job", so I have to say YOU GET THE BIRD.
And the GOLD CANARY -- the people I most want to give the BIRD...the morons at CITIMORTGAGE. Well, it should be obvious -- I mentioned the problem. But after sending us a damn foreclosure, you have the AUDACITY to send someone out to pound on the door?
What ARE YOU, MORONS? You jackasses don't give a flying pig about the people who are disabled, or injured. It's loan sharks like you who should be run out of town on a rail after being tarred and feathered.
So, that's the December Canaries... The most canaries go to HOUSEHOLD Bank for 2009. Enjoy them, bastards.
Year-end canaries-- it doesn't necessarily mean people who've won them for the last year. Nor does it mean Nominated. But in THIS CASE, it fits either/or.
It wasn't difficult to determine finalists, but to determine order of finish. And although there were lots of finalists, only 3 got the top three. And some are getting left out, but they deserve th BIRD. So, I give a STEEL CANARY to those unmentioned who deserve to get the BIRD.
The Bronze Canary -- goes to CONGRESS AND THE PRESIDENT... for screwing the people, lying about what's being done, forcing us to pay for health care when we can't afford it as it is, lying about global warming, and General Incompetence. Reid, Pelosi, Franken, Obama, and other boobs get this dubious award... Just remember, The Precious metal in THE BIRD doesn't make it better for you folks.
The SILVER CANARY goes to two LYING EX-BOSSES who had it in for me from the start.
Wanda and Michael are two damned idiots, Michael is a club-handed, club-footed pinhead who doesn't realize that he cannot order someone around when that person is NOT ON DUTY. The asshole deserves to burn in hell, with his body reserved for an unmarked grave -- preferably the trash can. Wanda is just a fool who thinks she's god. These delusions of grandeur are aumented by her position of Power within the company, and she's narcissistic. She's an egomaniac of proportions unheard of even by Sigmund Freud!
And the GOLD CANARY... Oh, how I'd love to flip them the bird -- goes to the law enforcement officials around these parts. Listening to lying jackasses like Mr. C., Mr. H, and the local vets, the jackasses throw me in cuffs for no damned reason (It's given me a phobia), sitting in the driveway, harassing us over non-existent crimes...It's enough to make me throw up ON GOVERNMENT PROPERTY.
So, there you have the Canary awards. Now, I want to issue some "Thank yous" to some of the folks who tried to make my life bearable:
My brother-in-law, Mark, and sister Darlene...for their sympathetic ears and eyes...and a checkbook that's open. If it wasn't for them, I would be fully lost.
My wife -- for sticking with me in hard times.
For the folks at Twitter -- those who try to make me laugh, to see the good...even when there is little good to see. People like "Fartingduck", and "Theladywrites"(Who beat on Donny Osmond for Tweet-wall position. Congrats, Cat!) who manage to try spreading cheer even in the worst of circumstances.
Even in these hard times, when nothing seems to go right, or when problems follow in rapid succession, sometimes there are some bright spots...angels, if you will, who help you through.
If someone didn't get thanked, and deserves it, don't take it personally. I'm tired. I want more sleep, but doubt that I'll get much over the next 27 days.