Some time ago, I had what I called the "Canary Award." Similar to the "Hoover Award" that was ocassionally awarded by the Blogger who runs "The View from the Tem" (The award was for people who suck" I took a similar idea...and the Canary award was hatched. The award is for people or organizations that you want to give the BIRD.
I stopped issuing the award for some time. It was just not that I didn't want to give it, but just couldn't bring myself to do so...kind of strange since I wanted to give so many people the BIRD.
As problems arose here, in the months from the start of the year, I realized that the Canary award was destined to make a comeback.
I had 5 months of comparing to do, and somehow I would need to bring the number of candidates to no more than 4. Usually I only give 3 canaries.
It was tough to set an order for who got what. But at the end of May, I knew who the top two were.
So, the Canary awards for the Month of May, including a "Dishonorable Mention" for a 5th canary...
Dishonorable mention for The Bronze Canary -- drum roll please! -- An idiot who is calling from a California Phone Number. You want that number? 425-xxx-0491. Sorry, I can't give more than that... but you might be able to look it up. They're selling insurance, and they're hounding me--but I'm on the DO NOT CALL LIST.
The Bronze Canary goes to HOUSEHOLD BANK. Oh, yes -- they've won a LOT of canary awards! Tell them to stop calling -- they won't!
The Silver Canary goes to --FANFARE, PLEASE! -- Various collection agencies who refuse to recognize the the fact that when I say "There is no money," that I mean what I say. Now that I'm back on the unemployment line, The frequency of calls will increase to the point where I will have to disconnect the phone.
The GOLD CANARY -- The People who deserve the BIRD more than anyone -- work for my last employer. Let's call 'em "Wendy Orgyson," and "Martin Asskisser." Not their Real names, of course. Wendy is nothing but a bitch, someone who is never able to be pleased. If you ran a 4 minute mile, she'd want it in 3. If you were carrying 150 pounds without assistance, she'd want 250. She's got delusions of grandeur that would make any pyschiatrist cringe, while making him rich.
As for Martin, as my arbitarily chosen surname for him suggests, is nothing but a kiss-ass. He's got no brains of his own, he's got his head so far up his ass that he thinks it's constantly nighttime. And if he ever pulls his head out, he's kissing Wendy's ass. There is something to be said for ethics, but these people ain't got a whit of it. They don't know how to make reasonable demands, they can't even count to ten!
As bad as the pharisees "The law is the law is the law is the law is the rule is the rule is the rule...." they have no compassion for anyone. And Wendy deserves HELL. Martin -- well, Stick HIM in a freak show. That is, if anyone wants to see a sorry excuse for a man. He's a pinheaded lobster, head in the sand like a damned ostrich. He's got the IQ of a shoe (no, why should I insult the shoe?), and head of a scarecrow. The only reason anyone hired HIM is because they felt SORRY for him. Let him ROT. And let Wendy BURN.
So, for May, the Canary finalists are in.
GOLD CANARY to WENDY AND MARTIN
SILVER CANARY to various collection agencies
Bronze Canary to Household Bank
and the Dishonorable Mention to that freaking California idiot who's trying to sell me insurance.
Watch for June's Canaries...coming on July 1 or thereabouts...and possible from an entirely different location.