It's all about TRUTH.

Location is determined by position
Evidence will vary by location.
Facts will change according to evidence.
But TRUTH is unchanging.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

8 years ago, outside, looking in. Today, praying for escape!

8 years ago, I was fighting to make house payments.  There were too many bills, too much outgo.  I was seeing a FEW foreclosures, but they didn't concern me.  I mean, I was doing "OK"...even if I was a little behind at times.  I actually had a good job, was earning well, gas prices were easy enough, and I could actually afford propane.
I was looking in, but nobody I actually KNEW was in foreclosure.    It was a distant world, something that really didn't concern me to that extent.  We cleared our bills in the only way we could, and fought on...and on.  We made our payments...until problems started arising in 2007.
Actually, the problems began with a couple of escaped horses in 2006.  We got them back.  Then, one day, I accidently stepped in dog crap before I went to work.  I got written up because I didn't notice it.  I wound up unemployed, no longer earning 14+ an hour.  They denied my claim, and things went down hill. 
Today, I am not only more conscious of the foreclosure situation; I am among them. 
I have less than a year to clear out, or sell, or redeem.  How can I redeem when there is no money, and I am disabled?  How can I redeem when the wife suffered a heart attack, and I have to handle that?  How can I do it when I, myself, was laid up for 3 weeks after hernia surgery?
Foreclosure is an ugly process.  I mean it.  They harass, they constantly call, they threaten, and they lie... YES, I mean LIE.  Our primary company claimed we could go on a forbearance plan, having what we owed put on to the end of the mortgage...but they lied, and instead demanded ALL when we couldn't.  They demanded nearly 5 Grand... I, unemployed/disabled, and the wife laid up with a broken leg at that time...They wouldn't listen.
Now, instead of being on the outside, looking in, I'm praying for an escape.  And there is no hope.
The house is for sale.  IF we can get what we ask, we'll have enough to pay off, and move -- with some for a down payment on a different, smaller place. 
I tried to sell my book, hoping for enough in royalties to be able to catch up.  I was ignored, rejected...and probably laughed at by the people to whom I sent the manuscript.
I tried to sell the house on my own -- got a bunch of SPAM, crap, and bullshit...
There's not much left.  I'm 50, the HELL am I going to be able to afford payments on something else?
I write an extent.  I have a bunch I could have people perform.  But nobody is interested.  And I have more health issues here between the two of us than ever...and I am losing my only place.
I am praying for an escape.

My wife got involved in a SCAM known as GDI, hoping to make it work, but it was a full-faced failure.  A SCAM.  She fell for an Email loan, and almost fell for a few "Cash-winning" scams.  Fortunately, I knew what was happening.
I am praying for an escape.
I tried writing for HELIUM... A SCAM of big proportion... You can't get any money unless you earn a star, but you can't earn a star because a bunch of idiots who can't spell, and can't punctuate, are on top.
I tried to write for client but it didn't work out there, either.  The person I was trying to help  -- her client didn't pay, so I got nuttin, either.  I can't blame the person who was getting me to write, but I tell ya... I wish I could just end my own suffering, now.
I pray for an escape.
But now, I'm stuck in that glass bubble -- a shrinking universe that will inevitably squeeze me out of existence.
I pray that you, whoever you are, reading this...may you never have to face the demon that I am facing. 
Don't try to give me "solutions" that are things like GDI, MLMs, or the like.  Don't try to give me "Google Cash Machine" or similar.  They're nuttin' but scams.
I have 3 possible escape routes:  One, win a lottery.  Two, sell my songs or book (or both).  Three:  End it all now.
Ugly situations -- impossible choices, or ugly answers.  It's all the same when you're trapped in foreclosure.
That's a fact -- annoying, and frustrating -- ultimately with the same conclusions --  AS I SEE IT.
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