Finally, a topic to which I can really relate. I've had more than my share
of co-workers from hell. I've been planning a book called 101 Ways to Get
Revenge but I see I can narrow that down.
Depending on the co-worker and what he or she has been doing, there are more
than 101 ways to get revenge. Oh, I love the following possibilities!
1) Half-smoked roach. Watch your co-worker. Does he/she leave the car
unlocked? Then it's time for the "Half smoked roach" routine. If you know
anyone who smokes that stuff, ask for it to be only half smoked. Then, stick
it in the car of the person in question. Be sure it's under the seat, or
well hidden in the clutter. And when your co-worker takes off, report the
car license number to the police as a car that's been driving erratically.
Be sure that you suggest that the fellow may be intoxicated. You'll get your
chuckles as you drive by and the K-9 squad is there, finding the illegal
substance.
2) Give them a plant. Oh, you have your choice. But you must do a little
something special: Plant poison Ivy in the plant. When the weed is pulled,
BINGO! You've got a little rash for the guy. He's been rash to you, now turn
about is fair play and the rash is his/hers.
There are a couple of variations on the plant theme. Instead of poison ivy,
plant Marijuana seeds. Or, if you know the fellow has a cat, plant catnip
mixed with poison ivy. This will not only drive his cat nuts, but give the
rash he or she so deserves.
3) The old "Tire Tricks" are standard, of course. Let the air out of the
offender's tires. Or drop some nails or screws on the ground. Neater,
however, is simply removing the valve stem. You can get a tool for that for
mere pennies, and you'll cause enough havoc to get your jollies without
letting on.
4) Get the person to talk too much. Get a tape of what's being said, and be
sure to edit what you have said on the tape. Then anonymously slip it to the
boss, or H.R.
5) My personal favorite is make a video. I love this one, although I have
yet to do anything like it. Let's say you call the video "A Brief view of
the moon," and use your co-worker's name as a star in the video. Thing is,
the "Moon" is not our satellite! It's a picture of your own rear end,
uncovered! Be sure to set it up so your boss, or coworkers can see it. On
the Internet would be a good start, but you need to be sure it won't get
deleted. No Youtube.com for this!
6) The exploding cigar. If your co-worker smokes, this might be a good one,
but you risk having your duplicity shown if you give him the cigar directly.
7) Onion Gum. Oh, you've seen this stuff advertised. If your colleague is a
gum chewer, offer him a stick, but be sure you have a couple of good sticks
for yourself. Just be sure he gets the one you want him to have.
8) License plate tricks are nasty, but good at the right time. If the
license tabs are up to date, you really need to be clandestine in your
undertaking. You'll need an accomplice, and that isn't always easy to come
by. Just remove the license plate tabs, and be sure that the police know
about lack of the tabs.
9) If you are able to get under the hood of the car of your co-worker from
Hell, sprinkle sulfur on the engine. Not IN, you don't want to destroy the
car or the effect. After a few minutes of warming up, the sulfur will begin
to smoke, releasing that famous "rotten egg" smell. It's not that easy to
get rid of the smell. You can do this one in summer or winter, winter may be
preferable since the person will have the car's heater on. Imagine the
watery eyes, the gasping for breath. And if you do it in summer, imagine the
police stopping by on the person whose car stinks in such a manner.
10) If your co-worker has an Email address, you can cover your own tracks on
the net, slightly, by using a public computer. Email a nasty letter to
someone from that corresponding Email address, and watch the sparks fly.
This is just a small list. There are many opportunities available. The only limits are your imagination and the risks you are willing to take.
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