Oh, What a Beautiful Morning?

Today's number is 40250. Or 405251. A different angle makes it 18223, but
this is a count-down, not an add up. Why is it so tough to get you folks to
figure it out? Yesterday, I could also have said 6250, but nobody would
understand that.

I awoke this morning to a cool, damp day. Cloudy, no chance of doing what I
hope to do.
I need to go down to the Co-op, get some stuff (And I have to take a
freaking detour -- bridge out!)

It's shortly after noon when I get to the co-op, and get the stuff that's
been set out. A quick fill -- the day is looking nice, now. It might just
be a nice day.

I have to drop off the stuff I got. So, I go deliver it, and I am on the
way home. I turn onto the paved road...and the truck starts acting up. The
speedometer is jumping around, and I think it may be that I've turned the
key too far. I don't want to take chances on the highway, I want to get
home. That's great. I'm on the home street now. I stop, turn off the
engine. I figure it will clear the problem.

I start up, the truck is doing the same freaking thing. This is NOT good.
Zero to 50 to 20 to 50 back to zero and up to 40 again. Fortunately just a
mile home., and I'll check things out there.
Pull in, stop. Look under the hood. No apparent problems. Back to start
and check again. OOPS. It's not starting! Not even the slightest turnover
No clicks. Nothing. I find a bad fuse, but don't have a proper
replacement. I find something else. Nope. That truck is as dead as a 3000
year old mummy.

Just when the day starts looking good, things go wrong. I let the truck
cool, go and check under it. Muffler damaged. No help. Looking under hood,
trying to find trouble. No sign. Belts ok, Oil ok, gas OK, coolant ok.
Except for the one fuse, there shouldn't be a problem. But the truck just
won't start.

I'm under the truck, and it starts to rain. It clouded up in a very short
time. And what do we have to show for the day? A truck that doesn't work.
No way to fix it until Monday, at earliest AND we need to have it towed in.
That's another hundred we can't afford. I tell ya, I must be cursed.

I fear we'll find it is going to cost more to repair that truck than it's
worth. After 2 tires, and a brake job last month, we get hit again, this
time by an unknown problem which with the symptom is "It won't start! "

I'd just bury the beast. But what can we do without transport? I know
where I can get a car for a grand...but I don't HAVE a grand!

Will someone turn off the bad luck machine, please?

Unbelievable!

I am cursed. There is no doubt about it, someone put a hex or curse on me back in 1973, and I've been followed by bad luck ever since. Odd numbered years, mainly...but not entirely.

In 1973, I busted a leg. In 1975, I dislocated a thumb. In 1977, there was an auto accident. In 1979, it was academic probation. In 1980, it was the death of a family membera, and the loss of a job. In 1981, it was the start of a flooding lake which would take away my parents' cabine 5 years later. In 1982 It was a romantic rejection. And it continues...
In 1984 it was my first battle with depression, plus the loss of my job at that time. In 1987, I bought a house which became a sinkhole for me. In 1990, I got married... In 1991 we started adoption processes. Those were shot down some years later...they kept changing the rules on us.
In 1992, it was the death of my Grandmother, the other one passed on in 1988. In 1995, it was dad's death, in 1996 it was mom's death. In 1997 it was another job loss (They moved, since have gone out of business). We purchased a new home which was a bad move...then we applied for a second mortgage (a worse move). Wound up in bankruptcy, and ... well, you get the idea. THEN, in 2007, a betrayal by a coworker cost me my job, and a betrayal by a former friend has now cost me thousands...court costs, loss of horses. Burned out 3 cars.

I am cursed. Everything is going against me, and there seems to be nothing to do about it.

The person who betrayed me in 2007 continued to befriend me...hiding her double-faced betrayal until I learned about it a few days ago. My wife broke her leg, is unable to work -- where does that leave us? In the gutter unless we can sell this place and move on. Chances? I don't know, but it doesn't look good right now.

Harrassed by the cops. Stymied by the State. betrayed and broken beyond belief. Tired and tearful. The curse continues...I want OUT.

Don't give me crap about "Self-fulfilling prophecy," do you understand? I had no idea it would continue for 36 years. And I am TIRED of it.

The only way to beat the curse ... is a way I don't want to take.

Maybe my poem, "Opposites" will explain it, but I shall use only the conclusion of the poem for you to determine what is going on.

"Yet turn I did from evil, but much to my despair --
when I turned around --
God was no longer there.
Today, it's death's reflief I seek
and yet I know full well:
There will never be relief --
Just th'eternal flames of Hell."

no, No, NO, NOOOO!

2009 is only 37 days old as I write this piece...and already there are enough problems to last me for a full year.

Early in January, one our cats died...killed by another cat. It's a pain, but death happens.
Later in January, we hit temps well below zero -- 34 below, 27 below, 13 below, 19 below...and we determine that it is time to GET THE *U*K of Minnesota, and my wife FINALLY agrees! We start packing, and cleaning up.

Obama takes office, but Minnesota is STILL without a senator.

On the 28th, one of our horses had to be put down. Not good, but she was wasting away. We had increased her grain, her Hay, taken her out to eat by herself...but it was to no avail as she went down and couldn't get back up again. The only choice, the humane choice, was to end her suffering.

On the 28th, my wife broke her fibula. No help! That destroys the money situation entirely! NO MORE MONEY from her until she's back to work!

Ok, we finally hit February. Obama's nominees are falling by the wayside like flies around a fly-killing mushroom. And thus starts a whole new set of problems.

My car is acting up. Leaking anti-freeze like crazy. The brakes start joining the anti-freeze, losing fluid by the bottle. And then the transmission (Which is already bad) starts stalling my car. No way to get to town, or home. And what happens? The car dies completely. DEAD MEAT. No way to get to work. This is NO HELP, as I need the money to keep up the mortgage payment! We decide we must sell items: China cabinet, bar, tractor, pool table, clarinet. and Horses. 4 of them, all on the market. No buyers. One offer on the tractor, a buyer for the cabinet, but no luck on the horses. No luck on anything else. A dead car, a bad transmission on the truck, mazda without a tranny -- can't find one!

Today, I get bit by one of my cats. The vet says call 911 to do something about the cat. Followed instructions, and what happens? They come out to me with allegations of Neglect, thanks to a FOOL VET who KNEW THE STORY AND CHOSE TO LIE ABOUT IT!

I HOPE to get the truck back tomorrow. But My job may be gone because I couldn't get to work. And my hope of moving to Florida may be completely dashed. What's next? No, I take that back -- I PRAY that we finally have some GOOD NEWS...maybe win the lottery, or something. But I can't take this CRAP much longer!

To place a curse on someone is a sign of a misanthrope. To remove one from me is my own desire. And my hatred of the people who have cursed me grows by the day.