10 things to do before I die, and other ramblings...

Ten things I want to do before I die, but how many of them can I complete?   10.  Get all bills paid off, have money in the bank that isn't gone in a day     9. Get my book(s) published   8. Laugh at my ex-boss and say "I told you so"   7  Kick a "Humane Society" cop.   6. Run for office, and get more than 10 votes.   5 See the Vikings win the Super Bowl.  (Ok, so THIS one is impossible.. I can DREAM, can't I?)   4 Show the finger on National TV   3 Moon "Judas" Coleman and fart at him in the same motion.   2 Bowl a 300 game   1 Behave like a 5 year-old, and be excused for it because I'm nuts. ___________________________________________   Ramblings:   I look great for a guy who's 75.  Remind me to be sure I change my license date! At least I have a full head of hair (Oops, where is my toupee?) My strength and Stamina are unmatched... (Geez, did that thing weigh 500 pounds?  When did they start making butter in that size?) My eyesight is as good as my hearing...can't ask for better than that! My horse won the Derby -- now, where did I put that derby? If you ain't wise, you's a fool.  If you ain't smart like I is, you is dummer than a dornob. Is it permitted to put someone else's picture on your license?  I could were a mask of Richard Nixon...or maybe Bill Clinton. If you thinks that nobody cares what you is thinking, Let me tell ya right now --  I don't care if you do or not!