When you can't trust your friends

At my last job, a 10 year friend (or should I say whom I considered a
friend) stabbed me in the back. Determined never to let it get me down, I
swore to myself that it would never happen again.

NOW, I find that someone whom I considered a very close friend -- a
beautiful spirit, wonderful person, has done the same, almost to the day of
betrayal. And I find out about it TWO YEARS AFTER THE FACT.

It is frustrating ... When you can't even trust someone whom you have
considered a friend. It hurts.

Just another Benedict Arnold in the crowd. Just another Judas getting 30
pieces of silver. And what I had believed -- an illusion horribly shattered
A friendship broken beyond my capacity to forgive. I cannot forgive this
person for the betrayal. I will try, but God's love is not infinite within
me.

And to think, I might never have found out, if I hadn't asked for just one
thing. One little thing to determine how strong something was. One little
thing .. A piece of paper -- that I asked for. A file with some information
...I needed to determine how I could proceed. Well, I found out all right.
And I found that another Judas had ripped out my heart while another was
stabbing me in the back.

I will survive. I will heal. I will try to forgive this person, but I know
I will not be able to do so.

You can't trust the police. You can't trust the professionals. You can't
trust the Clergy (Ask any Catholic who was sexually abused). That leaves
Friends and Family. Unfortunately, I find that some Friends cannot be
trusted, either.

I'm putting this person on notice. This person can come clean with me about
the betrayal, or not. I'm giving one week for this person to come clean. I
don't want an explanation, just an admission. That will, at least, be the
foundation for trying to rebuild trust. However, I suspect that the person
will never admit the betrayal. I'd love to be proved wrong. But I suspect
the person has no spine...no guts.

When you are betrayed...whether by a confident, health professional, or
friend...or worse, a family member -- It makes me realize how alone we
really are. And just how cowardly our "friends" really are.

Are you listening, Beatrice? HELLO. Paging Beatrice Arnold!

(Yes, I'm quoting Gilligan's Island.) Gilligan, to Ginger: "Boy, you think you know
someone and it turns out to be a Beatrice Arnold," Ginger: "Beatrice
Arnold?" Gilligan: "Well, you sure don't look like a Benedict."

Guess what? Now that I know who reported this thing, it tells me who
started this... The original complainant....yes, Beatrice... Yes, it was YOU
You can get me out of jail.

Thanks a whole F***ing bunch.